Crazy People

A lot of my friends find crazy people on the street funny. Its harmless on their part and human nature, I think, for the most part. Buts its not an emotion i have ever been able to share. Crazy people make me very very sad. Because you are not born crazy. Nobody's really born crazy. You are born with the genes and more than likely in inevitable death sentence to the disease buts it pretty well hidden in most children. Its not like retardation. Which is horrible as well, but usually in that case you never knew a life without it. Your parents and your friends never knew you outside of it. Craziness is different. Imagine you have spent years of your life being 'normal'. You are probobly at most a quirky kid- weird, slightly off, not quite right but still within the confines of normalicy. And then after 18, 20, 23 years of life you begin to lose your mind. As far as i know (and i've havn't researched this or anything) most physcological diseases kick in in your early twenties. So you have spent decades of your life functioning- relatively in control of yourself, and then suddenly one day you begin to hear to voices. Can you even image what it must be like to hear voices? To honestly and totally realistically hear another person's voice in your head telling you to do things you dont like or want to do?
If you have ever sat in a car or at an office or in an interview and begged begged your mind not to take you somewhere you didnt want to go. Or lay huddled on the ground hugging your knees pleading through the tears for your mind to let you be. for the voice that tells you you are worthless and horrible and waste of space on this earth to silence- to please please just quiet. For the part of you are that itches and scratches and scrambles toward self distruction to slow. For the dispare to please please for gods sake just let up. If you have ever been there than you know how perilusly some of us grasp onto the strings of sanity. Dangling so precariously that one disaster, one strong wind, one day of forgetting how hard you must hold on- how tightly you must grasp your fingers at all times- and you can fall. and the fall is deep. the fall is far. and the journey to get back up, to get out is a hard and long one. one that some people eventually can not make. People spend years in a flux between the sanity and the insanity. Years where they go back and forth, up and down, hiding it until they cant any longer and eventually bringing those around them into the horrible amusement park that is their life. It doesnt just happen one day. You dont wake up having lost your mind. You wake up out of control of yourself today and maybe for a week. and then your ok- you break out. but there are more weeks and soon months and then at some point, for some people, if they dont or cant get help it becomes too much and they are essentially lost forever. They cannot make the climb a single time more. So for those of us that fall- but not too far and have the stength of mind to pull ourselves out each time- seeing people like that makes you want to fall on your knees and thank the universe, thank whatever being you may think is out there- thank nature itself that we can get out. that it isnt forever for us. That it is today. And today may suck. But we can get up- there's an out for us. Because there isn't for everyone.